Me and my followers three!

I couldn't let today pass without a quick (or maybe not) comment. It has been eventful and tremendously exciting. First, if you look at the bottom of the right-hand gubbins of this page you will see just one reason for my joy-two new followers! I am just delighted, my drivel is now spreading to four outside parties and I am truly humbled. Yes, the new folks are my Mum and Brother and yes, they are following out of a sense of supportive duty and yes, if they have any sense (which despite being related to me they do) they will never read a single word that I spout but (gasps for breath due to lack of punctuation) they have placed their thumbnails upon this blog and I am genuinely thrilled! Hello to you all!

So why else would I be so excited? Well, I am about to be the proud owner of a new mobile phone (subject to credit checks) and it's a really good one! I have made no secret to date of my multimedia ineptitude, in fact my whole online persona could be considered to have been built upon this fact (if indeed I have an online persona) and mobile phones are no exception to this. I was a late bloomer in the world of texting despite having plenty to say, and my first couple of mobile phones were actually slightly less sophisticated than those found in toy shops, sold to beleagured parents hoping to fool their small children into believing that the shiny lump of plastic is in fact a real mobile phone. (I have, for your information, never yet met a child who has been fooled into going along with this. They may be tiny, but today's cyber-generation can smell technology at 1000 paces)

The chunky 'candy-bar' phones that I have previously owned have been specifically chosen for their duh-duh simplicity. I once even returned to a phone shop at the point of tears begging to change a new phone as I was so scared of it. Maybe it's an attack of over-confidence (after all I have a blog now, I am the Queen of a media kingdom ) but this time I have gone straight in at the top (or so I read), have flown above the i-phone cloud to the summit of the highest mountain, complete with snowy peak and greek hero and have settled (according to reviews) for possibly the best phone on the market!!! The HTC HD2. Today I struggled, during conversations with bored, hungover phone-shop assistants, to utter the name of this masterpiece of technology with the proficience that is probably required to own one. Conversations went roughly as follows:

Bored shop assistant.(Sounding worse for wear):'Hi, d'you need some help there.' ***no question mark as this is not posed as a question***

Dithery customer.(Sounding (yet not) inebriated): Do you sell the hctd2d...'(dies away pathetically)

Bored shop assistant.(With raised eyebrow):'HTC HD2?'

Dithery customer.(Wondering whether to go with the inebriated version of self despite having three children in one's charge as it provides cover for one's stupidity):'Em, yes I think that may be the one...'

Bored shop assistant.(Realising customer is not drunk, just stupid.):'What do you want to know about it'
***as per first entry***

Dithery customer.(In small,pathetic voice):'Em, well I don't really know really, just sort of how much it is and if it goes on the internet and em... does it do Twitter?'

Bored shop assistant.(Preferring the hangover symptoms to this imbecile):'It's a Windows internet phone so... yes.'

Dithery customer.(Realising one is looking like a twot and seeking fast escape):'Wonderful, em, I think you've answered all my questions anyway, thankyou so much for your help...' Slithers pathetically towards the exit, hoping the three children will follow. Does not want to look back if it can be helped.

I ordered the phone online. It seemed easier than buying it face-to-face and the website will never know what a numpty I am. So it will arrive, I would imagine, on Monday and I can't wait. It has occurred to me that I will need a lot of help and support to set the thing up, but the Grumpster (who was away at a football match during all this) will be here and he is (as noted previously) not afraid of pressing buttons. I will keep you updated on my progress with my phone. I can't wait!

I forgot to explain though! The reason I have taken the unlikely step of going from the least sophisticated mobile to the most without drawing breath is that this new phone is a 'touch-screen' phone. There is a situation which occurs with a standard press-button phone which could be best described as third-party intervention. You see what you want on the screen, but in order to enable it to happen,you must remotely operate the highlighting 'mechanism', by use of a button, which, granted, is immediately proximate to the screen but still has margin for error. You press the down/up/left/right button to cursor through the menu then attempt to capture the required icon with a quick press of a central buttton, but unbeknownst to you, a delay has been incurred somewhere during the process. It appears to be hovering over the icon but the phone-brain and your brain are not synchronised. As you press 'select', the phone-brain is still working it's way through the manic series of instructions which you have hurriedly issued and it continues beyond the point at which you were hoping to stop. Before your eyes, a screen appears, generally informing you that a something disastrous is going to happen if you press the wrong button, but giving you no clue as to which button gives you a safe option. Terrifying for those like myself! A touch-phone removes this hideous scenario by allowing you to directly select, with your own well-loved fingers, the icon that you require. Of course there is always the chance that a finger may accidentally stray at the moment of 'touch', but at least we can thus, only blame ourselves.

I realise that I have gone on, but there is just one more exciting thing that happened today! I got something for free! My beloved Audi A4 informed me when returning from the in-laws, that it was in need of more oil. I remembered vaguely, something about a special oil which when used, allowed a two-year interval between services, instead of one. The second non-special oil is poured into the engine, there is no going back! Responsibly I informed the Grumpster that I needed to visit the dealer for oil, and he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'Well that's probably £40 down the drain', something which I myself believed possible. Well I can joyously report that I was given the oil for free! How exciting! And they didn't even charge me for putting the car up on the engine inspection ramp to retrieve the lid to the oil bottle which I managed to nudge off the top of the engine and into the hot, moving parts. I am pushing my luck, with the repair booking I have made to find out why water does not ensue when pushing the rear-wash stick to the clean-rear-windscreen position. The guarantee on the car runs out in February and I am going to exploit the free repair bonus which I currently enjoy for all it's worth, particularly as the car is valeted at no cost as part of the service. They will soon have me for every penny they can, of that I am sure.

Goodnight friends, more soon. Bet you can't wait.... x